What matters in your life? You know it by what you think about first thing in the morning and what lingers on you the entire day. I think about the woman. I think about the words. I think about football. I think about the game I’m playing. I think about what the kids have going on and helping them get to the next step–be it to the good or otherwise. These are the things that consume me on a daily basis. I’m not sure if all of that distills down into a life, like I walked us through yesterday. I want it to. I need to add to it, subtract where needed, find space and balance for all of that to become a steady and stable existence. Take for example this morning. As we are away I reached out to one of the boys who is trying to play seven on seven football. I tried to talk to him about responsibility and make him really think about what he wants and why he is trying to do what he is doing in order to go into things with open eyes and fixed priorities. I think it stuck. Meanwhile the lady talked to one of the other boys about how things are going at the house while we are away and all I thought about was how much work we would therefore need to get done in order to get that place cleaned up again an back on track after a week of everything falling off. On the one hand I think of both those conversations — the one I had and the one I wish I could have as forms of growth. I wish the boys would see tending to the house as a meaningful endeavor. I wish the boy would fix his priorities so that he was looking future forward instead of falling into flashiness and nonsense.
Ultimately, I believe I want them to understand what matters in their lives but also respect what matters to me and work to support what matters to me the way the lady and I work to support what matters to them. That is part of the balance I find missing in our lives. It is about all we give and them not recognizing that need to return that giving in kind. I wouldn’t call it selfishness as much as immaturity and lack of consideration.