Freewrite Friday is going to be postponed until tomorrow because I don’t have it in me today. I drove across the desert back home to AZ from a brief vacation in California during which I learned a lot about my life and my relationship. I also discovered how difficult it is to write with a pinched nerve in your neck. These blogs are the most I can muster in a sitting position before I start to tear up. No, I’m not being dramatic. This is bad enough that I am locked into full desperation mode, looking for the cure. I’m going to see a chiropractor as soon as one can get me in.
I’m going to see a lot more than that. Used to be a time where I thought I could solve all the ills in my life on my own. I don’t feel that anymore. In truth I feel lost and at risk of losing what I’ve built. That is all I can really say about all that right now. I’m going to take time to think about things and talk things out and really get a handle on how I’ve become mostly everything I’ve hated.
Self loathing aside, I am finding moments of real writerly inspiration. I’ve watched good tv, done good reading/listening, and I am more focused now than ever on sharpening my brain. The forties are extremely rough. For a while they’ve felt like an exit from this world. I want them to start feeling like a reentry.
Some Thoughts:
- My curiosity about the Mass Effect remaster turned to disappointment when I learned that all they really did was reshoot a few shots and rebalance a few AI things. They decided to use the extended cut ending as the main ending, which fails to really address the issues with the ending that most of us had. Blech.
- Yes, I want to play it all again anyway.