Recently I’ve started to adopt a dim world view–an inability to see my way to a happy ending. I stopped making wishes whenever the clock rolled to matching digits (11:11, 2:22, etc.), stopped expecting ms. right to become mrs., and generally moving towards an acceptance of long term malaise. As such it came as little surprise when opened a fortune cookie and found no fortune presented inside. What caught my by surprise was opening a second cookie and again finding no fortune. That is when things got dodgy.
There are many theories about human existence. I’d guess a lot of us live along the spectrum of faith. We believe that things are ultimately doled out by a higher order of energy, be it God, fate, ka, or what have you. I believe we do have some choice in the matter–free will to swim against the current, or as Wesley Snipes is fond of saying, ‘Ice skate uphill’. I’ve never been much of a skater, but I’m not one to normally let fate bustle me about without some semblance of control. For example, when I decided to go to college I read the signs and portents and two options were clearly the most ‘fate driven’. I decided on one vs. the other and spent the next two decades of my life hearing about what the other would’ve looked like through a multitude of people and stories that intersected both geographically disparate worlds. I made a choice and made a life out of that choice.
As I moved through this life other signs arose and other choices were made. I could always read what I believed to be signs, because they kept popping up. Lately in conversations it feels like key words and phrases pop almost as if I can see those words standing out and dimming out the rest of them. It feels like my subconscious sending me messages through the conversations I am having. That is what made it all the more discomforting when the fortune cookies came up empty.
I don’t know what that means.
Nobody seems to know what that means. There are some that say it means good luck is owed to you. There are others who suggest that your luck is poor or has even run out. One thing is certain: Everyone says it means a change is coming. Now I get to wait and see what that change is.