Day: January 12, 2020

So, it begins again.

The things about being a teacher is that it is a sprint. It is a 16 week sprint where you start with a burst and try then to speed up until you push past the finish line. I’m lowering into the blocks (or whatever strange metaphor you’d use for the start of such things).

Some Thoughts:

1. The struggle is real in terms of getting into ‘writer mode’. I’ve been having a really hard time pushing myself to put words to paper beyond this blog and it really does make me question myself as a writer. I want to believe all writers go through such things. I don’t know that it is true.
2. It is not a matter of not having time. I watch a lot of tv and I play video games when possible. I don’t know if it is fear or lack of desire or fear of success or fear of failure or any number of things.
3. Here is what I suspect: What I am (and have been) going through is not isolated. I feel like there are books on such things already, but if I can break free, I might be in position to write a really good one.
4. I also suspect that a lack of actual paper reading is the cause of a lot of this. I need to move to correct that. Today.

Welcome to one of those steam of consciousness nights where I really have nothing to write about but still feel that the press of keys beneath my fingers makes me writer. A true writer, of course, writes and does the work. I’m writing for these ten minutes. Feels good to write something today. While it has been a chill weekend it also feels like the final approach to the front of the line at the roller coaster. I know things are about to take off and get very crazy. Likewise, I recognize that I’ll soon have a great deal to write about but, realistically, little time to devote to the actual craft. This feels like my lot in life as of late. I am familiar with it and not exactly a fan.

In short, I need to get a better grip on time and life management because neither has offered to wait or slow down for me at all. That leads to the question, what do I want that life to look like day to day? What am I making time for? How are the weekends different from the weekdays? Where is my bliss? I know where I find a great deal of it, but I cannot survive on those sweet moments. I feel as if I need more to sustain me. Now I’m getting very metaphorical and deep, yet not saying anything concrete.

I suppose this is what happens when you start out with nothing to really say.

Some Thoughts:

1. Still not doing the work.
2. Ravens lost. Badly. Turns out the Titans are the real deal–even without any real ability to throw the ball. I think it gives the Giants a legitimate blueprint.
3. I miss Minecraft, but there is nothing to listen to worth playing for.