My computer informed me that I may have been hacked through an app or site and should immediately change my password to this specific blog. I didn’t. Truly, I should. It would be a shame to lose all of the material I have accumulated over the years. At the same time, I feel that the journey is equally important as the product. In fact in some ways a solid journey outweighs the product. Lately my writing has been mostly product–not great product at that. There is a hole in the words that reflects a lack of passion and attention to the life. I felt it, in a way, when I went back to the classroom. In class I felt the rush of excitement of building these new relationships and discovering what these students were capable of. I didn’t feel that upon return to my novel. Instead I felt the weight of the task and more than a little sense of impending doom.
As I said recently, there is a how-to book in all of this somewhere.
I’m in the midsts of a great period of growth and the weight of all of it is folding in around me in a way that seems to be pressing against the most important and most fragile parts of my life–the parts of understanding vs. action. That is where the words have slipped away like a coin lost to the folds of the couch. At the same time I feel a certainty that I can grow from this and that I will grow from this.