I’m getting older. I’m close to a bday and the feel of it is akin to drowning. My daughter in-law thinks I have issues because the problems I feel are accomplishment based. I feel like I have not done enough in this life to warrant being as old as I am. I believe I should have accomplished quite a bit more by now. This can be viewed two ways: Time to get to work and kick ass or I am a failure.
Lets say I go with the first while ruminating on the second. Success is a slow beast, but why this slow? I expect I will have a better second half in that sense than the first. I suspect I will do it with a good woman at my side and that makes all the difference in the world. I don’t want to do this stuff alone. It’s a team game and team Talislegger, though small, has each others backs. We’ve had to cut members along the way to make it so, but here we are. Here I am poised for this second act and trying to fight up my courage to do it right.
Getting old be like that.
Some Thoughts:
- I cannot seem to tear myself away from this Youth Football madness. I find myself wanting to be part of the game, part of the coaching staff, and out there making a difference. I realize I am done. I know that even when the boy picks up the cleats again for his youth team that my role is primarily to drop him off and be like water. However, it is hard to be like water–especially when I don’t entirely realize what that means. I don’t want to let go. I need to let go. Perhaps that is what that means.