Month: May 2017

Today the Maricopa Rams 9U football team notched their first championship win. This 42-0 blowout was ended early in the 4th by the refs, the way a boxing ref stops a fight. This meme says it best:

 

 

That was pretty much the season. I feel incredibly good about the effort the boys put forth. Even though I chose to step back and help the other squad claw their way to a second place finish, I still felt good donning that championship hat alongside the boys.

Some Thoughts:

1. Lately I get a lot of the good music I listen to from TV. Cable series, mostly, but The Blacklist does do a great job of putting together solid episode soundtracks.
2. Speaking of shows, I’m taking the moments to close out those sitting on my Directv hard drive. Let it be done.
3. My partner is a creature of moderation. Too much of anything in shows, books, etc. seems overdone. This has made me aware of when a writer is going ‘too far’ or pressing down that button too much. That’s been helpful to me as a writer. Of course, one must actually write for this nuanced level of understanding to be of value.
4. The difference between love and sex is vast.

On a night where the #2 seeded Cavs demolished the #1 seeded Celtics by 44 in a Celtics home game, the one word I can conjure is whoa. That level of dominance is straight up inspiring. Tomorrow is the championship game for one of my three boys and the end of season tourney for another. I have high hopes for both but expectations for the other. I expect the tackle team to be the Cavs in this scenario and I expect them to do it in a hurry. This has been a wonderful season for all three of my boys, but with two remaining in championship contention, the hope falls to the mid kid. He has a team around him. That absolutely matters.

The future of sports with my kids is fairly bleak. One out of three seemingly quit the sports racket–at least the football side of it. The other two are interested still. Now the problem on top of the problem is paying for everything. As a single dad with a checked out ex, all falls to me. I’m doing what I can so far, but it is not going to last. My wallet cannot take it. If we were working in tandem to get things handled, we could do so much more for our kids. Of course, if we were working in tandem we wouldn’t be divorced in the first place.

I’ve learned a lot about what it means to be a dad from being a coach. There is a clearly defined difference between the two, but there are in fact major similarities–especially in regards to setting standards and setting an example. Both are areas in which I’ve struggled over the years. I continue to strive to be the best version of myself off the field and on it. I expect my kids to do the same thing, regardless of age level, because it is about establishing what matters to you–in that moment, in that day, in your life. I want my kids to grow into men who aren’t ambling, aimless automatons with no real thirst for anything that isn’t shoved in their faces. I want them to grow a backbone, stand up to adversity, make real choices, and stick by their choices so long as they continue to believe in what they chose. These are the lessons I see happening on the field and off. This is the pathway to better men.

 

I’m approaching this blog from the perspective of ‘write it all out’. I feel like there is a lot I have to say about the universe, but I don’t exactly believe there is any particular validity to me saying it. I feel like I suspect a lot of authors feel in that they don’t have a message ‘the world needs’ but have a message that many people feel but have trouble articulating. This is why the blog often veers towards the political (or the sporty depending on season). Lately I’ve been struck by the way our political system appears to be under siege from within and without. A quick jaunt over to cnn.com reminds me that our president is overseas right now, likely ‘fucking shit up’ but I’m pretty sure that is an exaggeration, as I professed last night.

Now the ‘write it out’ in me isn’t entirely about sports and politics. I think I am about to move this blog into more of a freewrite phase–at least for the summer where I have the time and mind to jumpstart the writing brain. Expect big things.

 

I’m concerned that it is impossible to get a real sense of what is going on in the world via American media. I’m concerned because every news channel I watch is obsessed with glamorizing every story to the point of hysteria. How much news can actually be ‘breaking news’? When you consider the near-bizarre portrayals of basic stories you quickly realize that the news is trying to scare us into watching. ‘What is in the food you serve your kids?! Find out the shocking secrets at ten.’ Once the mainstream media starts to get confused with the ‘one weird trick’ clickbait you know we are in serious trouble.

We have a media problem. The problem, as I see it, is a news industry more concerned with catching the attention of an over stimulated and highly distracted audience than telling honest, non-exaggerated stories.

Some Thoughts:

1. Media hysteria aside, Fox News is full on full of shit. This dodge show they’ve put on to spin Trump’s meetings with Comey. Now Comey is supposedly the liar and Trump never lies. I truuly hope people don’t believe this nonsense.

I want to change the theme of the website. It is a small thing–a type of spring (summer?) refresh that gets me out of my comfort zone and pushes me towards more of what I need to become. It forces me to break the chrysalis in a sense. I’ve been stuck, obviously, in a neutral state short of really clear goals and objectives. I feel as if I haven’t grown much and in fact retracted into a shell of ignorance. Not all the way, mind you, but enough of a retreat to notice it. Frankly, it feels a hell of a lot like depression.

It isn’t though–not completely. It is another version of that fueled by a lack of will and lack of creativity. I used to talk about how I needed to visit New York on a semi regular basis in order to get back in touch with the real world–the competitive, eat your lunch off your plate while you stare on in horror world. I haven’t been to that world in so long that I have almost completely forgotten what it feels like. Even that last time was more of a tourist visit than sinking into my once realm.

Here I have no place that I can go to feel that energy. The energies I feel from this dust soaked place is about another way of life and another way of people born from that life. Unfortunately, the way I am built allows me to be easily influenced by my environment and by the people who populate that environment. I become like them. I take on their mannerisms and traits and, to a certain extent, their desires.

So, what I am forced to face is the understanding that my environment shapes my reality. My habits of mind are shaped and reshaped by who I associate with. In the world of academia I’ve begun to lose touch with the world of people and real life. Maybe thats why I harbor a desire to work checkout at a 7/11. Or maybe I’m just a little nuts.

I gotta get back to NYC. That or find a way to create that center of balance where I am. I need to maintain a better control over myself or my environment.

I still don’t have all that much to say. That is the way it goes some times. You can’t always expect to access the storyrealm and pull out hits. I feel that sort of thing is process driven. If I go to the well X times a day then i’m likely to coax the words out of it. For right now the words are not there. Sleep is approaching and wants me back. I’m going…

 

Some Thoughts:

1. Love Bites remains one of the greatest songs ever sung.
2. This false Left v. Right Twix debate has gotten out of control. Stop it. People are starting to believe…

Sunday night after a rough Saturday and I’m home alone on Mother’s Day. As a single dad I don’t get any momma day love, but there is always father’s day. I don’t have terribly much to say tonight save for the fact that I am actively avoiding work. It isn’t a great look to do so, and pretty much defines the last 4-5 years of my life.

So, here I am burning through ten minutes with no real purpose but with a dedication to see it through. It is a burden I love and accept with great pride. It remains the one thing in my life I have complete control over. The words are strong or weak at my choosing and based on my dedication to writing. So there it is. With time to spare.

Some Thoughts:

1. Why is it that wherever I find a CVS there is a Walgreens across the street?
2. My upstairs air is out, rendering that section of the house unlivable during summer until I can get the air back online. What I learned from that experience is that I don’t necessarily need an upstairs anyway. Me and my boys are pretty tight and aren’t all that interested in getting away from each other.

At the end of the day the final score read them: 18, us: 12. We made it as far as we could and ran into a wall. That wall was built of maturity and talent. Frankly, we weren’t the kind of youth team that is designed to be a champion. We were the kind of team that punches above its weight as long as possible. Unfortunately, the clock ran out a day too soon.

Here is what I’ve learned from this:

1. I don’t want to put my kids on teams where they are the superstar. I have no problem with them developing into that, but that is something to be earned. When you put your kid on a team where they don’t have to earn their spot, you are not doing your kid justice. Instead you are instilling a false sense of ability in them and often you are the one establishing the work ethic and ceiling for them in those moments. A few years ago (was it that long ago?) I coached a team where a mom wrote me a letter explaining that she did not like that her son was playing as a starter on my team because he was not the best player on the field when he played. She preferred he ride the bench and come out with the second team where he could be the star. I thought that was crazy. She put her own need to see her kid as a hero above the need of the kid to grow and compete at a higher level… Which brings me to another lesson learned
2. Parents pay for sports to see their kids play in the game. At the end of the playoff game several parents were angry we didn’t play their kids. Their kids were the ones who usually live at the tail end of our bench and either don’t understand or don’t entirely care about what they are being told to do. One in particular explained that he wants to know exactly who is hitting him (from the other team) each play and if he doesn’t like it he would like that person to be told to block someone else. Obviously, he didn’t play. Others didn’t either. We went with the best available talent and I have no qualms about that. Which leads to my next point.
3. I want to be a part of an organization that is training winners. I am done with the parents who are all about how much playtime. I am done with the daddy coaching. Any team I am going to be involved with moving forward is going to be learning based and results based. It isn’t about the parents happy and it is not about making the kids happy. It is about understanding the dedication to be successful in whatever you do and developing a bond that extends beyond the field. There is a place for kids who just want to play in a low-impact fashion. I am not interested in being in that place any longer. I want my kids to excel to the top of their ability level in everything they do, be it math or the gridiron or cooking a freaking pancake. Dedicate yourself and be the superstar version of you. Which, lead me to realize…
4. Not all my kids are superstars. My first born used to be that kid, but yet another coach has started to treat him like he ought to be coming off the bench. I am going to remove my daddy goggles and start looking at him closely to see where he is at in his development both as an athlete and a young man, because maybe I am blind to that stuff.

Little preamble here. Just the numbers.

1. The air went out upstairs and the fix is expensive and not fast. Therefore the kids are sleeping downstairs where it is 79 vs. upstairs where it has fallen to 89. That is 6 degrees hotter than it is outside. The devil walks among us.
2. I’m tired and behind on my work. Not a good look.
3. Agents of Shield needs to be cancelled. Trash. It started out so promising and then got so bad that not even Samuel Jackson would touch it.
4. Not feeling the confidence about tomorrow’s big fb game. I don’t see the fire in these kids. We have an hour in the morning to get it locked in. We are the better team, but someone needs to step up and show it.
5. Back at the late night posts… bad idea
6. It appears the road to hip hop fame swerves through youtube dance videos. Well played Ayo and Teo.
7. It also appears that rap killed the R&B boy band. I’ll explain that another day.

The other night Hasan Minaj hosted the White House Correspondents Dinner and later went on to drop an epic dis piece on the entire free press. His catch line: Stay in the pocket. In other words he reminded the press that in order not to be called fake news, you gotta stop being snarky about Trump. As hard as it may be, you gotta. Be deadpan and logical and journalistic. Reveal his nonsense for what it is and do so playing the journalist role so people cannot point to you and say you’re full of it. Give them no reason to doubt the voracity of your claims. Because they aren’t claims. They aren’t alternative facts. Trump has done some shady stuff, so we gotta be able to call him on it.

Stay in the pocket is the new version of stay in your lane. The news ought to leave comedy to late night where we can step back from these stories and laugh at the absurdity of the situation. That only works if there remains a forum to take these stories seriously and snark free.

Some Thoughts:

1. That thing I said about James Harden got worse. Harden was humiliated by Jonathan Simmons yet again. Leading to memes such as these: https://youtu.be/krLgx9aADss