Day: May 23, 2017

I’m back in that space where I may step away from coaching. The problem is twofold: I love coaching and I have difficulty watching my kids play and being totally uninvolved. I don’t believe I am ready for that yet. At the same time there is a level of politics involved in coaching that I am also not prepared to partake in. To make a long story short, I’m standing outside the doorway of a youth football organization that is being built, and I can clearly see that my opinion is unwanted by those in charge of construction. Be it from lack of trust, faith, or no real value attached to my name, I am on the outside of this thing looking in and unhappy already with the direction things are going.

What makes me most unhappy is the lack of inclusiveness–specifically when it comes to me. I feel like I’ve contributed a lot to the team in terms of time and effort and even website. Still, no seat. The last football organization I was a part of found me in the same position where I was on the outside and not a single entity on the inside appeared to take value in my contribution–or even possible contribution. It is as if I need to prove to people that I can contribute and when I do, they attribute those contributions I’ve made to other people.

Story of my life so far.

It is no secret that I’ve been battling depression as of late. Turns out stuff like this is helping. Well, helping in a way, because that depression is slowly shifting into anger and spite.

Coulda said Netflix, but the now-obvious connotation would be wrong. No, I’m just in a kickback mode. It could be called a recharge. While there are still stories out there to be (and being) developed, the main portion of my gray matter is just soaking in my environment. My bestie calls it nesting. I would not argue with that connotation. I’ve spent the day cleaning small portions of the house, playing video games, and listening to Wings co-star Steven Weber read Stephen King’s It. 

Veg and Chill.

Some Thoughts:

1. People still really believe that Transexuals are actually perverts looking to molest girls and or join women’s sports and dominate. That is absurd. Stop watching Tyler Perry and the Wayans Bros right now. Anyhow, people looking to do that are few and far between. Just like we cannot stop a lone nut terrorist, we cannot stop a lone nut.
2. There are many many shitty people in my life who only seek to use me and my kids. They open themselves up to that crap.
3. I’ve quickly gone from the house where all the kids come over to the house where most kids can’t sleep over and many don’t come over so much anymore… You yell at your kid once with an open window…