Month: November 2022

I’m reflecting on a post in the early 800s. This one was about a life well lived. I can’t say I really understood a life well lived or a life well loved back then. I was on my first marriage and quoting Kobe Bryant. This is before I really dove deep into the writing, before I lost friends, before I had kids graduate and understood what that felt like.

Three graduations, one wife, and 7 iterations later I find that I am once again an insular man. That can be proven as I sit here at a banquet on my phone and truly lacking the interest in talking to anyone I don’t already know. I want to meet interesting people elsewhere and where it isn’t about what our kids do or the nonsensical lifestyles of Arizona. I want to go elsewhere and do more and think about a life that means more. Am I happy? Yeah. Really really am.

am I happy here? In my own way as I float on the edge watching as if from far away. I’m not a part of here but I am a part of my kids lives and lives. My own life is elsewhere and I am happy to be truly living it.

Just time for a quick ten minutes and then off to dinner.

I’ve been writing for a good deal of the day. Well, researching actually. I’ve been trying to close up this last project before break and before taking a break to work on some non-sci-fi writing. I want to get stronger with my fantasy game. That starts with world building, but it also extends to finding a voice in that world and finding out more about the world and how I intend to tell the stories of the world.

Fantasy and Sci-fi are actually quite similar. It makes sense that they are lumped together in that they are both about exploring new worlds and the histories of those worlds and reflecting on how those histories shape their present and lead to their future. Technology aside (of course, any significantly advanced tech is indistinguishable from magic) the storytelling is similar. It is like slipping into a different pair of shoes, but they are still shoes.

So, I’m going to slip into these other shoes and get into discovering these other tales, but at the core I will be writing Talislegger stories, like I always do.

Another eventful and productive Sunday. One of my boys are clapping, likely because the fantasy Gods have blessed him with a win over the other. This means I’ll have more to talk about on Wednesday as that league approaches parity. As the last game of the night rolls I sit and blog, thinking about the coming week. I’m looking forward to it–namely because it begins the last few sessions of class for the semester. I’m happy to see it end and happy to be moving to a fresh start. It will be one that comes on the heels of a thrilling international vacation and the start of this next wonderful phase of my life. So, 7 is truly becoming 7 now. I look forward to what the next 1000 will bring.

Some Thoughts:

1. Building a bed frame/box spring is hard work.
2. I need to keep doing stuff like that and keep challenging my brain or it will absolutely erode.

I’m blogging from my phone presently, because I just don’t want to go out there—maybe not again tonight. My oldest boy is watching the rediculist and it’s just too sad to see this man reduced to that—not on vacation but at home. We all tend to watch it on vacation at the beach after a wonderful day in the sun, but it’s just an escape—a sinking into hotel tv. It isn’t the thing you do at home.

honestly, I’m not quite sure what the thing he does at home is. That goes for all of the boys who engage in little more than gaming and call it a life. I remember my teens through twenties being better than this, but I’m an old head so maybe this is all there is.

last night my lady and I watched the new Julia’s Roberts movie. It was O K, but the key part for me was her repeated line, ‘why wait for tomorrow when you can do it now’ or something to that effect. I took that personally. I’m trying to get behind that philosophy, and so far it’s been going well. I’m getting things done. I am moving forward. Still not leaving this room though.

well… maybe later for pie

Sam wasn’t hungry that morning. Usually he’d go down to the store around the corner from work and have breakfast as he watched he co-workers stream into the office. He liked watching. He liked knowing everyone’s disposition before he got there, namely so he knew who to avoid. Usually Sandra and Kareem were the ones to avoid. They’d come in together. Well, not quite together. They would arrive a few steps behind each other with a regularity that suggested they did come together. Sam had begun to think they were a couple, or at least lived close enough that they took the same route. The way they struggled to avoid each other during work suggested the former. Sandra was never excited to be there, and even less excited to have to give orders to Kareem, who acted like he was taking them but then would do something–anything other than what she’d said to do, eventually wandering back to the appointed task and performing it with a high level of efficiency. That was the only thing that kept him from getting fired. Well, that and being Sandra’s lover, if that were the case.

Today he didn’t stop to eat. He decided he would be one of the first into the office. That didn’t mean he’d be one of the first out, unfortunately. Hours didn’t work that way. Still he’d been feeling off all morning and all he really wanted to do was sit down in front of his desk, flick on his monitor, and settle into another world.

Some Thoughts:

1. Back to the free write! I don’t know what this story is or where it comes from and that is a good thing. It felt good to fire off something foreign.

I am a writer. I’ve been this way since I can remember–since I fashioned a choose your own adventure book called “Russia” some time in elementary school. Back then I wrote for the thrill of it and the thrill of being able to show someone the story I created and having them interact with it. This is a gift. Be I a good writer, mediocre, or legit trash, I am gifted with the ability to tell stories. This gift can be lost. I’ve lost my way to and from stories more times than I can remember but I find my way back each time. I’m grateful for the opportunity to be a writer.

I am grateful to be able to see and hear and sing and listen and experience and taste and love–especially to love. I am grateful for the kids I have — even when I absolutely despise them. I am grateful for the time I have with them. I am grateful for the choices I have had the opportunity to make in my life and the way those choices have gone. I am grateful for life itself, even in the moments I’ve wanted to end my own.

Thanksgiving is about food, but it is about family before that, and it is about realizing the contribution you as an individual have made to this strange world before that. It is about being grateful for the chances and for the people and for the things and for the sun and the moon and the many stars haunting the evening sky.

I am thankful for all of these things, and thankful for the hope of experiencing even more of it tomorrow.

As this is a new start for me, I thought it too should be a new start for the Giants–a chance to fix the things that’ve not gone as well lately. For me it is the numbering system. For the Giants it is staying healthy and staying within that margin of not giving up big plays and points to protect a rather anemic offense. Today, I’ve started fresh. Tomorrow we get to see if the Giants can as well. A win would move my G-men to 8-3, and put them largely in control of their destiny. They’ll need to win a few more conference games, but that is absolutely doable.

It feels a lot like my fantasy leagues, where me and three of my boys play in a single division with hopes of battling it out in the playoffs. I think the Giants and the other three teams have a real chance of doing that, given how their records put them so far forward of the rest of the NFC. Heck, if it doesn’t go that way and the Giants can win just half the remaining games, they’ll be a 10 win team for the first time in a long long time. That is enough for me. Thankfully, it is not enough for them. They want playoffs and they want to build from there.

Let’s go Giants. May tomorrow be the next step forward.

Meanwhile, the other team sharing the Meadowlands fully crapped the bed on the QB situation yet again. They haven’t had a reliable starter under center in a decade and then some. How to fix it? Bring in a young backup who can get the job done. Bring in a guy like PJ Walker who can take advantage of the talent he is surrounded by, or a guy like Davis Mills whose proven he can win, or a guy like the Eagles backup QB Gardner Minshew, who has all that it takes to be successful. I think that last choice is the best. I think they ought to think about it too, because Minshew Mania could bring a whole lot to the Green.

Some Thoughts:

1. Welcome to the 7th iteration of the ten minute rule. We’ll keep the number schedule rolling right this time. I think I’ll institute weekly checks. I’ll also make sure I stay on track with some of the weekly style posts. This is going to be a good 1,000 or more days. Let’s see how long we can take it.

I tried to turn back the clock a year and found out something very disturbing… My numbering system is WAY off. 6.676 happened a year ago. The math doesn’t –cannot–possibly add up. I’ve made these numerical errors throughout phase 6 of the blog, which points to the fact that maybe it is time for a fresh start. Tomorrow I will move to 7.0.

It’s odd because I am clearly in the 1000’s of posts in phase six and I have been reflecting on milestones that I already passed. The entire thing makes me feel funny inside and moreover, makes me truly wonder about how much I am mentally still holding it together. My back hurts. My mind is slowed. I’m bad at video games. I survive mainly on coffee and love. All but the very last part ought to be fixed. I’m way beyond that time to start fixing.

Honestly not the best day for production. More so it felt like one of those days where it is easier to just give up, quit being productive all together and slip into the comfortable routine of a drone who does just enough to register a pulsed trigger the occasional endorphins spill but adds nothing to the world. I cannot explain it other than to suggest a level of burnout that makes me quite uncomfortable.

I’ve had quite a bad day. I spent most of the afternoon in a store and then out of a store looking for my car, because I somehow lost it. All the while I felt like I was somehow losing my mind and, honestly, that is probably the case, because I am a mess right now and don’t know how to get right.

The haters are having a day with Daniel Jones and the Giants. The G-Men were walloped by the Lions-a team that has an outside chance at the playoffs and at winning their division. Following the major beat down the Cowboys gave the Vikings, I am left to wonder if the Lions can in fact pull off a four game win streak and get close to pulling even.

Even if that happens, it doesn’t excuse the Giants for getting beat. Here’s the thing–and its a feel thing. I knew the Giants were in trouble. I felt it all week and it settled into my bones when they came out flat on the first drive. Once the Giants fall behind by two touchdowns, it is over. They simply lack the passing game to score quickly and lack the line to explode for quick hit runs.

The Giants are, imho, on pace to go 11-6 this year, which is enough to make the playoffs as a wild card. They’ll do better down the stretch in these five conference games. What folks need to remember is this is a team clearly in a rebuild and working hard to play with a number of backups in starting roles. In fact, our top corner went down in the first half. We are a deep team because most of our talent is equivalent to what we pull off the practice squad or waiver wire, and that is never a good sign for a team. That being said, this IS a playoff team. And growing.

Losses will happen. Two happened before today. It doesn’t mean it is time to give up or fall back to hatred. Hope is the true course.

Some Thoughts:

1. When I wrote Daniel Jones and the Giants, I really wanted to find a way to connect that comically to Daisy Jones and the Six. I think there’s something there… comically.
2. Discovered a solid offensive strategy in Madden. I played well against the son of mine that puts up the best defense. I played well… offensively. For a while. I lost 77-28. I need to get better to compete in a league with these dudes. What happened to my skills? I suppose that lack of play is an issue. They play hours a day. I play hours a week… At any rate, I was able to hit the run for some big gains and even threw well. Until I didn’t.