I’ve abandoned Tich Nhat Han. In truth I have abandoned most of what I find to be calming and centering this week. Why? No idea why, but it is worth looking into. What I am realizing is that I need to get on track with things and calling the blog yesterday Reset is in a sense a forewarning of what I need within myself.
To sum up: I really need to get my stuff together.
I am flooded with opportunity. I am seeing my words proliferate in the public space, which is bringing more and more words to the surface. I am rife with both time and opportunity. Meanwhile I continue to get mired in the minutiae of making everything ‘feel’ perfect before I get going. This is how it was in High School and in every 7 year iteration of self since. Perhaps I am recognizing that in this present end cycle and, in some deeply removed spiritual and ethereal sense, allowing that to bubble to the surface in spite of the conscious and subconscious mind rallying against it. I am, in my own self, having an election. I am learning how to make Talislegger a better self by injecting hope and change, vs. falling back on an antiquated self unable to respond to the modern world.
I fear too many of us are locked in a struggle to move backward. We seek comfort psychologically, spiritually, emotionally, and physically. However the definition of comfort is often written from the past and from the sense of remember when things felt really good. However, what felt really good was and always will be a function of time and place and moment. In writing we refer to this as Chronos. Understanding Chronos as the personification of time means recognizing that these ‘moments’ are not lasting but are resultant of a specific time and place and situation (which we often refer to as the rhetorical situation). As such these moments cannot be replicated.
These feelings can be sustained, however, if not replicated. I don’t think replication is even the word we ought to be pursuing, but instead continuation. I want to get to a place of peace and learning on a regular basis. In short, I need to regain rhythm. I need to settle into a cycle that I can grow from and not a largely destructive path. I need to be the wind and the rain, but not the hurricane.