I’m listening to rain in the rainforest on a supposedly live feed (which might have been live once but is now clearly recorded and on delay). It is the only form of ASMR I can truly play without the family staring at me and calling me weird. The really good stuff (cat grooming, soft voices, strange ambient noises) labels me as an instant weirdo, so I’m trading basic level tingles for a small bit of personal comfort.
Turns out I need to relax. I’m slowly eating myself into oblivion and everything else is lapsing with the growing bulge of my tummy. Today, the 19th, I decided to give myself until August 19th to finally get my shit together. What that means is I am going to get right on writing and diet and exercise. This in no means is going to be a ‘one day he was dope!’ but instead a process structured and working backwards in time from 8.19 till today when I will certainly start the long climb uphill.
I need to build relaxation into whatever plan I am cooking up. That is a certainty.