Day: October 29, 2017

I’ve started to notice that I don’t remember things anymore. It isn’t a short term memory issue but more of a series of doors leading to entire segments of my life. The door stays shut and it sticks if I try to remember something. If I keep working at it I might remember and the remembering opens into an entire room of memories, as if that segment of my life is rushing back into existence at once. I don’t have a clear sense of what this might mean. My brain immediately sends me to every alzheimer’s site I can find. I think about the handful of years I played tackle and wonder if this is that coming to get me.

I don’t think I have any sort of brain injury. I get a sense that aging has weakened my mental abilities. I’ve been trying to fix it through increased reading and making efforts to ‘think harder’ and try to problem solve. It isn’t enough and may not even be how you get the brain right, but it shows intent–intent to remember and get right. I have to, because I haven’t written that special novel yet.

Some Thoughts:

1. Speaking of that special novel, I am moving towards creating something that is different and interesting if not truly fleshed out. My partner is helping and the entire process is invigorating. That alone is a good sign.

 

The other day my eldest son wanted the front seat. It wasn’t his turn to have it and one of his brothers had that opportunity. So the boy refused to ride in the car. This is what I’m dealing with at early 13. It feels like two. As I watched that boy and the rest of my players navigate a losing football game I realized it my just be like that at a certain age.

Here is what I dealt with: I had kids who struggled early in the game and that caused all of the other kids to get down on themselves and on their ability to be successful. We made a ton of mistakes and that resulted in a really lopsided game performance and lots of infighting. They got angry at each other over mistakes and fell out of the game quickly.

This is about the mind of a 12 yr old and not the ability. Part of my job as a parent and even as a coach is to instill the framework for them to understand a support system and how to use it. This is not an advertised part of the job, but it is crucial to moving forward in life.